My Motivation Plan

I think it's safe to say that my resolutions are a reflection of what I value.  I value my health, I value my family, and I value financial stability.  I value organization in that it helps me structure my time and space in a way that gives me more time and mental energy to focus on the things that are important to me.  However, there are some circumstances where it is hard to behave in a way that is consistent with the person I would like to be.  For example, I might come home from work exhausted and want to eat out instead of cook.  I might want to veg in front of the tv instead of exercise.  On these days, I need a little extra motivation beyond wanting to be a better person.

I have been using a calendar as a positive reinforcement behavior chart.  Each day, I keep track of whether I've been keeping my resolutions by writing it down.  At the end of the week, I stick a star sticker to the page if I've met my weekly resolutions.  If I floss every day, I get a star.  If I exercised twice, I get a star.  If I had two conversations each with my mom, dad, and sister, then I get one star (not one for each person).  If it is a monthly resolution, like writing a letter to my grandma twice a month or completing a home improvement project once a month, then I get a sticker at the end of the month.  Once I get to 50 stars, then I get a reward.

I'm having a hard time figuring out what a good reward would be.  I don't want my reward to conflict with my goal save money, so I don't think I necessarily want to reward with things that would cost a lot of money, like a mani-pedi or massage or new shoes or eating out at a nice restaurant.  I tend to feel really guilty when I spend money and I don't want guilt to contaminate my reward. 

When I was in college, I learned about something in one of my psychology classes called the Premack principle, which states that more probable behaviors will reinforce less probable behaviors.  In other words, people are more likely to do things they don't necessarily like to do if they have to do it in order to get to the things they love to do.  For example, kids are more likely to do their chores in a timely manner if they can't play video games until their rooms are clean.  So I've been thinking lately - what is it that I love to do?  And can I do that without spending too much money?

I love to read.  I love to bake.  I love to eat out for breakfast.  I love to get coffee with friends.  I love to travel.  I love going out with my husband.  I love to go to the movies.  I love to play Settlers.  I love going to fairs and carnivals.  I love scavenger hunts.  I love to admire and eat elaborate and decadent desserts.

Maybe 50 stars can equal $10 to spend on whatever I want, be it a pizza or a fancy dessert or ice cream or a book.  If there's a new hardcover book I want that's more than $10, then maybe I'd need to earn 75 or 100 stars to be able to get it.

Does that sound reasonable?  What do you think?

"Boomerang" Tasks

Lately, I've been reading "The Happiness Project" by Gretchen Rubin, partly because it might contain something useful and applicable for my new year's resolutions, and partly because it was 20% off at Target.  Plus, the cover looks so happy - like a bright sunny morning.



In her book, she writes about what she calls "boomerang" tasks - something you try to cross of your to-do list but ends up creating more work.  I have been experiencing a bit of this lately, and it is interfering with my sense of productivity and accomplishment.

For example, in cleaning out my closet, I wanted to do something with my wedding dress, which has been hanging in the back in a garbage bag, taking up a ton of space.  I took it to get it cleaned or preserved, or whatever you call it, and it ended up costing $250, which I wasn't willing to pay.  The woman at the store referred me to a place that would be cheaper, but now I'm considering just dry cleaning it and selling it, either online or at a consignment shop.  Unfortunately, this creates a bit of extra research and work.

I've also been trying to finish my fieldwork for my Master's program.  I'm in the process of transitioning from a middle school internship to a high school internship.  I finally got around to e-mailing the program director, which I thought would bring me closer to my goal.  Instead, it ended up adding about seven more steps to the process, and I feel even farther away from my goal.  I think the most frustrating part is that many steps end up being dependent on the responsiveness of other people, which I have no control over.  Crossing tasks off my to-do list "unclutters" my mind, so to speak.  It's frustrating to me to have extraneous tasks circling around in my head, like thought-vultures waiting to dig into my mind-carcasses.

Something the head counselor at my school always tells me is, "It's a process."  I think this is important for me to remember (easier said than done!).  I think that sometimes I am so focused on the end-goal that I forget to pay attention to the journey.  Accomplishment is great, but I think the process of growing and self-betterment is valuable as well, which, of course, is why I made my resolutions in the first place.  I'm hoping that if I repeat this to myself enough, it will help me to feel less stressed.